The Dumbest Concept Album Stories

 

...oh yeah and the Whole Christian element of Keeper of the Seven Keys by Helloween also gives me nausea, but that´s just me not being too keen on lyrics praising the lord (unless of course you´re Saviour Machine, who are allowed, and who should please very, very soon praise him Again. It´s been so looooongg, and I want the ending to the Legend story). There is a childish description in the Keeper story of how Satan is beaten that makes me cringe every time I hear it. It´s too bad because both albums in the instalment are quite brilliant otherwise...

 

...Cage have actually made som similar themed albums, and although they also praise God and make stories of how Satan is defeated, I think I like them a Little better.

 

Regarding Them by King Diamond, I guess it helps that I was just 12 years old when I loaned the vinyl on my local library, and it scared the shit out of me. I didn´t find it at all cheesy and although with age you do begin to see the faults of some of the Things you enjoyed as a youngster there is also a certain nostalgic feeling that only albums like that can give you, that provides them with some sort of quality stamp (for you personally, maybe not for others).

King Diamond's concepts are not meant to be taken that seriously, they're tongue in cheek. What do some expect - E. A. Poe level stories?!

I don't often pay attention to the stories much of the concept albums I do listen to, as I just come for the music, but one that does come to mind is Eloy's Power and the Passion. I love this album, but the 'story' from what I've gathered is so stupid.

Basically, this guy meets some woman who took time-travelling drugs to come from France in 1358 to the present day (1975 when the album came out). They then smoke some weed and fall in love, they go back to her time and their fathers don't approve. The guy has to get back to his time, but is stuck and needs to seek 'The Zany Magician' to be able to get back. He does, and gets back to his time and tells his friends at the disco where he's been.

The initial premise is amusing. He needs the coffee for his hyperdrive, I think, so that he can travel faster around the universe and assert his omnipotence. The fact that he actually drinks the coffee in order to test its quality is oddly amusing. But his decision to attack doesn't make sense. It's just a excuse for the story introduce more silliness and come across like a Saturday morning cartoon.

I had mixed feelings about Z2. The production was bigger, the voice actors fun, and a lot of the songs were good. But that the Planet Smasher was just a cute cuddly little thing that hated musicals put me off. I had believed the Planet Smasher to be some menacing creature with incredible power, not a distorted pekingese. Then the whole thing with the captain and Ziltoid being brothers just got to a real WTF point and by then you just had to shrug and remember Devin used to smoke pot a lot.