siLLy puPPy BUCKETHEAD (as Bucketheadland)

Pike 250 (affectionately called “250” or “Two Hundred And Fifty” Unaffectionately called “bitch crap from stool samples”)

7th release of 2017 One quadrillionth or so release from all time

All instrumental Except for when it’s not playing

Contains 4 tracks Except on other worlds where the treaties forbid albums with 4 tracks

Clocks in at 30minutes 27seconds Unless the clock is broken then WTF? Get a new clock. I mean, really?

Everything and i mean EHvRR -eeTHING is played by Buck-buck-buckethead (land)

TWO // - echoey guitars then drums while all spacey and ambience swirling then the metal dam bursts and heavy distorted chords and guitar solo and then no guitar solo and just grungy guitar chords and then back to clean clucking echoey guitars and then bursting into metal heaviness and then back to slow while the melody continues while dynamics change and then more heaviness and then more spaciness and then more heaviness in a heavier way and then soft and then heavy and soft and heavy softheavyrfdkjafkjreqir7t40ujdiajfioeaiodsur803478r1uiofduand thefactthat itgoeson for 17plusminutesIS unnecessarybutnot totallyfuckingoutathequestinbutwhy?why?why?why? oh and around 14 minutes it gets funky but then changes to heavy metal and continues to change things up 0 p 0 p 0 p but wait there’s moRE! nice track but nothing that hasn’t been done before by BEE AYTCH but still an interMOLESTING experience that leaves me exhilarated and ready to meet Lola at that bar where SpongeBob used to go

HUNDRED C - is pretty free kin cool mon as it begins all funky and becomes all weird with like OMG!!!! guitar solos to the max. I do declare that this is a very superbly original track on the BH line of PIKE-wear where everything sounds like it was totally inspired by brothel talk and a healthy supply of pop tarts purchased in Moldova during certain sunspot activities that lived on the edge while licking flies on sundays as sex toys danced around christmas trees that worshipped lucifer and legos simultaneously while licking themselves like only lucky puppies can

AND & - and what? you expect a BLEEPIN’ review of this track? Where’s your sense of mystery? Do you really have to know everything? You are a filthy slutty knowledge whore. I know one when i see one because i am one so there. i’m going to blather on about nothing now just so i can make the next track go down a few spaces on my spread sheet. Did you know that the Albanian word for YES is pronounced like the English word TAPE? Yeah i had tape worms once and it kinda gives me pleasure rubbing my butt on the new carpet however it’s starting to stink

FIFTY L - is a gift from SATAN. It’s about sacrificing goats to Lucifer. Ok, i lied. It’s about sacrificing coats to Lucy of Charlie Brown fame. She deserved it because of the football incidents. This track is like the best track ever. It so makes me wanna fly a prog flag. Has anyone made one yet? Why the bleep not? OK, who wants to be Betsy Ross? OK, focus. This is a review, maybe from hell but a review. This is the best track on the album. It is proggy without being froggy. It is clever without being forever. It has time sigs that eschews all the excess figs. It has guitar yumminess that makes me feel oh so good. This is a top notch BH track that is jazzy, metal and prog simultaneously. A brief visit to paradise after OKness turned to well, only OKness

BUCKETHEAD reaches his sestercentennial or semiquincentennial or bicenquinquagenary milestone of 250 PIKEs. Whoah! Like were this many needed? NO!@ Of course NOT. But many were good but WTF? The last two years have been few and far between for inspiration but 250 is a bit different but not a bit great but not a bit bad either so a bit 3.5 stars in ishi mode and may many more PIKES be hatched under inspired chicken vibes and lots

I’m freaking out. TOTALLY! Thanks BUCKETHEAD for a menagerie of everything from the super lame to the super innovative! Please make more crazy weird proggy metal experimental nightmares for nuns! That would make my tail wag like i drank sake (the Japanese drink!) from the doggie pool pool pool pool pool pool poo (stop it, Divine is no longer of this earthly plane, bus or segway)