Former New Zealand rugby captain Sean Fitzpatrick was the master of the sporting cliché. When it came to press conferences, the All Black captain had a list of stock phrases he would roll out time and time again, which ultimately told you very little about the match, but not that it mattered, because the All Blacks usually won anyway. One of Fitzy’s favourites was “It was a game of two halves.”

This blindingly obvious observation meant the team had performed to a different level in each 40 minute stretch of the game, usually starting indifferently, and then getting their act together in the second half to annihilate the opposition. This analogy fits SinceByMan’s ‘Pictures From The Hotel Apocalypse’ perfectly.

‘Pictures From The Hotel Apocalypse’ starts with a leaning toward the mediocre. “Emergency And Me” isn’t the worst Metalcore song you’re ever likely to hear, but it hardly sets the world on fire. Its feel of urban alienation is a little different to the norm, but otherwise, fairly standard stuff- not particularly heavy, a bit angsty, a bit melodic, a bit average.

The standard set, SinceByMan sleepwalk through the next three songs, all of which pique a little interest, but nothing to blow you away. The end result is left hanging in the balance.

But then, the team left the field, received an absolute bollocking from the coach, dosed up on energy drinks, and then hit the field with a new resolve and sense of purpose. Switching from Metalcore’s suffocating standard, SinceByMan take a step to the left field from “Match On Action” onward. The intensity is cranked up, imagination and inventiveness are let loose, and the inspiration flows.

SinceByMan enter the space generally occupied by the likes of Dillinger Escape Plan and Soilent Green, a space where logic becomes chaos, and categorisation is discarded. Sure, this isn’t as chaotic as Dillinger Escape Plan, nor as heavy as Soilent Green, but you’ll find heavily syncopated rhythms, spinning riffs, discordant solos, and plain old fucking with the boundaries of music. Laid back acoustic sections add contrast, as does the heavy Dub intro to the electronically deconstructed “Binary Heart Attack”. “Quid Pro Quo Motherfucker” introduces female vocals, creating breakdowns which sound like Atari Teenage Riot on steroids. “Photographer Ex Post Facto” starts with a riff which sounds like Faith No More’s “Woodpecker From Mars”, but soon twists into something far more dangerous.

This album becomes a tumbling kaleidoscope of jarring guitars, stark contrasts, off kilter percussion, electronic drones, and a conglomeration of concepts. ‘Pictures From The Hotel Apocalypse’ is like a shallow dip into madness, without descending to the full on schizoid paranoia of Dillinger Escape Plan or Neurosis. It’s not a world-beater yet, but SinceByMan are heading in the right direction. So, as Fitzy would have said, thanks to the ladies for the afternoon tea, full credit to the opposition, and rugby… er, music was the winner on the day.

Back in the 1980s, teens who had been raised on big doses of Iron Maiden, Metallica and Megadeth got together to form their own bands. While most of these bands disappeared without trace, a few became big names in the Metal scene, like Pantera, Flotsam and Jetsam, Death Angel and New Zealand’s own Shihad. In their original incarnations, these bands combined the aggression and high level of musicianship of their idols, while injecting an element of melody and subtlety not seen before in such intense music. World domination beckoned.

Of course, we know now, in perfect 20/20 hindsight, it didn’t happen. Sure, Pantera made it big, but lost their melody. Flotsam and Jetsam lost bassist and main songwriter Jason Newstead to Metallica. Death Angel disintegrated, and Shihad abandoned Metal for a successful career in Alternative land.

However, there is hope. Growing up on large doses of Megadeth, Metallica and Iron Maiden, Ashburton, New Zealand’s Inertia have come up with a sound something like a 21st century version of Flotsam and Jetsam, Death Angel and Shihad. What’s more, the members of Inertia were in nappies when these bands were making their names. A happy coincidence? Most certainly, because this band hadn’t even heard Flotsam and Jetsam, Death Angel and early Shihad when they recorded this five song demo.

Opening track “Judgement Day” starts with an acoustic intro, before blasting in to the main body of the song, which bears a passing resemblance to Flotsam and Jetsam’s “No Place For Disgrace”. The interplay of the rhythm guitar and bass is particularly impressive, particularly for such young musicians.

Second track “Comets” is a longer song, showing a potential for future epics from this band. The song clocks up a high riff count, without just throwing them together aimlessly, and shows a good understanding of song dynamics. The solos are great air guitar material too.

“Cold Night Air” changes the pace completely, starting as a dreamy ballad, hinting at full on power, but never fully unleashing. While attempting such a track on a demo could have been risky, Inertia pulls it off almost effortlessly.

“Waking The Dead” and “No-Mans Land” are a strong pair of songs to finish with, showing off how much fun old school melodic Thrash actually was.

As far as the sound quality goes, this is an excellent first demo. The instruments are well defined. Singer Adam Willis has a strong voice, at times reminiscent of Iron Maiden’s Bruce Dickinson, or Flotsam And Jetsam’s Eric AK. With more experience, he will develop into a powerful melodic vocalist.

This demo is a great start, from which this band will undoubtedly grow. It is a fresh shine on a once glorious, but much tarnished, brand of Heavy Metal.

All you really need to know about Lawnmower Deth and Metal Duck is that both bands were seriously funny.

This split album was the debut release for both bands. It is now hard to find in any format, but the fact that fans are still desperate to get their hands on the album attests to the enduring attraction of a sense of humour and good fun thrash tunes. Part of the attraction is the self-effacing humour. Neither band took themselves terribly seriously at a time when thrash was generally a very earnest business. Some bands, like Sacred Reich took on serious issues, like politics and prejudice, successfully. Others, like Testament, Flotsam and Jetsam, and even Nuclear Assault just came off sounding cheesy.

But really, who cares about nuclear war or environmental problems when you can have songs with lyrics as classy as “Watch out Grandma, here comes a lawnmower/Gonna rip your face off” repeated over and over. Lawnmower Deth tackled the odd issue later in their career, but back when they recorded ‘M.L.F.’ their only concern was liberating repressed lawnmowers everywhere. There is not a serious moment on the entire album, but you wouldn’t expect it with song titles like “I Got the Clap and My Knob Fell Off” and “Drink To Be Sick”. Yep, if Lawnmower Deth were going to get called crap, they were going to have fun doing it.

Musically though, they were not crap at all. Filtering through the decidedly dodgy production, there are some excellent riffs surfacing, and a more than competent rhythm section. If Lawnmower Deth had taken themselves seriously, they could easily have outperformed Xentrix, Re-Animator or even Acid Reign as far as British thrash goes.

Metal Duck shared the same type of humour lyrically (“Cheese Puff Death Squad”, “March of the Metal Duck to the Duck Ponds of Hell”), but trod different ground musically. Rather than the UKAC (United Kingdom Apple Core) style thrash of Lawnmower Deth, their brand of urine extraction was accompanied by a rougher, faster style, at times verging on old school grindcore. In places, it is possible to believe you are listening to old Extreme Noise Terror, dual vocals and all. Of course, ENT didn’t usually play songs whose lyrics consisted of counting to 12.

This is a short split album, even though there are 24 tracks. Both bands took great delight in peppering their recordings with hyperblast micro-songs. At times hard to comprehend, but always funny when you can grasp what’s going on, this split album achieves something very important. It leaves you wanting more.

A live Mayhem show is a rare and much vaunted occasion. The band’s body count, and the collective prison time served by various members has meant finding enough musicians for a show has not always been a straightforward exercise.

Even the most casual of black metal fans knows the basics of the Mayhem story. A group of Norwegian teens got together in the mid-80s, and from a series of events involving unhinged band members, murders, church burnings, master-tape tampering, and extreme theological and political views, black metal was born. Oh yeah, and there was a bit of music thrown in there too.

“De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas” was a revelation on its initial release in 1994, the album black metal fans had been yearning for since “Deathcrush”. Put simply, it was fast, raw black metal from beyond the grave. Even though it had been preceded by a few high quality albums, from the likes of Darkthrone and Immortal, “De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas” redefined what black metal actually was.

When the Gods (from the Norse pantheon, of course) smile upon Mayhem, and the required number of living and un-incarcerated band members can be assembled, the results can be magnificent, as the band’s explosive “Live in Leipzig” album proved. So, can lightning strike twice?

“No” would be too simplistic an answer. “Not really” would be too vague. “Yes” would be wrong. “De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas Alive” is just a bit tough to judge.

Look at the title. Deliberate or not, sticking “…Alive” at the end of the album title invites instant comparison to the four, or perhaps five (it depends if you count the “Alive! The Millennium Concert” album or not) “Kiss Alive” albums. Many Kiss fans will tell you those albums are where the band shines brightest. Mayhem definitely shines live, but there is just something a bit flat about this entire performance.

It was recorded in Norrköping, Sweden, in December 2015, and is the entire “De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas” album performed live, played in order, and seemingly without breaks, just like a studio album. Therein lies a weakness to the trend of bands playing entire albums live. The strike rate of great songs to duds meant Kiss had to be picky as to which songs they put in a live show, but even bands with a lower dud rate like Metallica still have the odd turd in the swimming pool, like “Escape”, James Hetfield’s least favourite song, which he was still forced to learn and play for their performances of the “Ride The Lightning” album. While there is nothing like “Hooligan”, “Baby Driver” or “2000 Man” anywhere in Mayhem’s back catalogue, the four tracks from “De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas” which appeared on “Live In Leipzig” just seems stronger in this situation too.

Vocalist Attila Csihar is not famous for between song banter, but surely there must have been some breaks between songs. Remember moments like Iron Maiden’s “Live After Death”, with Bruce Dickinson’s “And this is what not to do if a bird shits on you” or Lemmy’s introduction to “We Are The Roadcrew” on “No Sleep ‘til Hammersmith”. Wit is not essential, but it would be nice to know there was actually a band playing live to an audience.

And that is possibly the biggest problem. This all sounds too polished, especially for such an incendiary black metal band, and may as well have been a re-recording of the entire album in the studio. There is no life, nor any chilled necrotic death to this album at all. Mayhem may perhaps be too good for their own good. While near faultlessly performed, it has no character or vitality, and is just not an essential release from one of black metal’s most essential bands.

So Cavalera Conspiracy is now Cavalera and has re-recorded “Bestial Devastation”, the famous first Sepultura EP originally released as a split with Overdose in 1985.

First thought: Why?

OK, the Cavalera brothers wrote these songs, and they reckon these old recordings don’t do them credit. Fair enough, do what you will with your own songs, but realise these have been around for a very long time, and fans are attached to the original versions, having invested a lot of time and memory to them. It doesn’t seem like fans were crying out for re-recordings. And music from this era and style is still being made - Jairo Guedz (Tormentor, and lead guitar/bass player on the original) is still doing this with The Troops of Doom.

So let’s start listening.

Second thought: Fuck!

Yeah, there’s an update to the sound, and it’s still heavy and bestial, but it’s too fucking clean! A big part of Bestial Devastation’s charm is the original recording’s sound. It has warmth and character because it’s not quite right. There’s a fuzz around the edges because the guitars are too loud. The drums are a bit out of time. The re-recorded “Antichrist” is played a lot faster by a far more accomplished 50-something Iggor than the original teen Iggor. All perfectly timed, all the fills in the right place, and all the personality is leeched from it.

Third thought: No!

You can’t rewrite history. Example: the solo near the end of the title track. It’s too slick. It’s played by Daniel Gonzalez, Cavalera Conspiracy’s live guitarist, and also a member of Possessed and Gruesome. Gonzalez is just too good and too technically proficient, and the sound too clean. There’s none of the amateurishness of a teenage guitarist laying down his first solo on tape. The new solos throughout are somewhat clinical and surgically precise, where a few idiosyncratic bum notes would have made things more interesting.

Fourth thought: Wait…

And just when you think it’s all a sterile, cynical cash-in, along comes “Sexta Fiera 13” (Friday the 13th), a turbo-charged take on the atmospheric theme song from the movie franchise of the same name. There’s little info on where or when this was written, but suddenly things are transformed. There’s no more shitting on history. It’s chaotic and brutal, and exactly what the brothers Cavalera were first famous for. And it’s a fucking great song.

Final thought: Fair enough.

Yeah, fuck it. This isn’t amazing, but it’s pretty good. These are modern reinterpretations of songs first recorded 38 years ago. The people re-recording them own them and can do what they like with them – at least these aren’t dubstep remixes. No one is forcing the rest of us to listen. And the originals still exist if you don’t like the re-recordings.