Doomster
It's actually not THAT bad... But it still sucks pretty hard. Now, I might just be called out as an "ELITEZT" or "U CAN'T UNDERSTND DIFFERENT MUSIK" person for this review. Well, I'm not either of those. I listen to plenty of weird music...The Melvins, Khanate, Sunn O))), Boris, Lustmord, I could go on. And of course this album is different. In fact, Belarus act Divina Enema have crafted one of the most original concepts I have heard in the past year or so. However, it's this band's weirdness that gets them hated worldwide. I'm here to tell you that they are honestly not THAT bad, but they are still pretty gag-worthy.
Divina Enema play in a totally unclassifiable style. One minute they're avant-garde, the other pop, and the next swing music. Now, I usually like complicated music, but this is just so all over the place that it just becomes an absolute mess. Are you metal? Pop? Country? Make up your mind.
Perhaps the most ridiculous aspect of Divina Enema are their vocals. They are these absolutely awful, awful out of tune falsetto screeching "singing". After listening to the vocal sound in "The Face Of Oranus" I literally had a galric-y taste in my mouth - it's really that bad. In fact, these vocals suck so hard that it leads me to believe that the band were making them intentionally humorous, just to see how impossibly terrible they could be. Well, if that was their goal, they definetely succeeded. If it wasn't, may God have mercy on the.
The music isn't much better. The drumming sounds like the drummer merely got a few sticks from his yard and started lightly tapping on the snare drum. Again, it's not as bad as Lars Ulrich's drumming on the God awful "St. Anger", but it's not much better than that. At least this guy's drumming isn't as loud as a nursery school crying over the sounds of fireworks. The guitars...oh God, these actually sound akin to the album cover - a bunch of green farmers, on a farm, carrying something. This sounds like something they would listen to. Well, Divina Enema at least hit that spot on.
The bass is nonexistent, so I won't go into detail about that.
The only reason "Under Pheonix Phenomenon" gets anything more than a big fat .5 rating is because, well, Divina Enema have talent. As vague as it may sound, there is definetely something in the hearts and minds of these guys that lusts to make good music - they're talent is just buried far, far beneath the awful falsetto screeching, out of tune guitars, and just plain annoying drumming. They are a talented bunch, and they make very original music, but absolutely fail to construct a listenable song. Somewhere a hipster is loving this, no doubt about that, but for me and most other people's opinions, "Under Pheonix Phenomenon" is a laughable failed experiment. Avoid this unless you enjoy seventy-minutes of unrelenting prejudice towards your ears.