A SHOWER OF BASTARDS — I Don't Mean To Be Offensive, But... (review)

A SHOWER OF BASTARDS — I Don't Mean To Be Offensive, But... album cover

EP · 2010 · Grindcore

3/5 · 2011-02-05
arcane-beautiful

Ok, this is my band, and people are gonna read this and go "this isn't really a review, IT'S BIASED"

So for your delight, yes this isn't a review, its more of an...ehm explanation haha.

Basically, I want to explain what we are...if that's possible.

Right so here is the creative formulae, I can scream and growl, I can play guitar, I have a sense of rhythm...why not make a gridncore album.

The equipment I used was a guitar and a keyboard that I borrowed from a friend of mine (and that double bass pedal sound is actually the sound of a xylophone with in a very low octave).

This started out as a spin off thing from Hitler's Brain, but to be honest, this is kind of like a solo outing for me, cause I think my brother (Ma'at, he hates it when I spell his name like that haha) played on 3 songs on this, to be honest he wasn't too in to it at the time, but apparently he's really psyched for making a next one, maybe I won't play guitar on the next one haha...

I wanted to make a band that was a wee bit offensive, but I wanted it to be smart and ironic at the same time, as well as stupid obviously.

Like Hitler's Brain, all the songs where on the moment things, we didnt write the songs, we though of a riff, improvised some riffs over a click track, and hey, a grindcore song is made, and multiply it by 11, and hey, an album/e.p is made.

So, here's a link, www.reverbnation.com/ashowerofbastards, and the whole album is streamed, so enjoy, it's only 10 minutes long, and hey, what could you do in 10 minutes that is better...well most things haha.

And also, don't take the lyrics seriously...I don't mean anything I say...I can joke with it though

1. Martial Arts Is A Wee Bit Gay - That bit at the start I always wanted to sample, which basicaly is the grounds of a song haha. The song is actually my view on most sports haha.

2. Ke$ha Is A Dorty Bitch - She is though. Female aritsts are getting very "colourfull" these days. You Tube the Hitler's Brain song "Big C**k" (real word, not the non sworn version, and it kind of gives my views on what most female artists lyrics are like these days. Filthy woman, should be in the kitchen.

3. Iris Robinson Uses The Bible To Label Homosexuals As Abominations, But If She Lived In Biblical Times She'd Be Stoned - Only the Northern Irish will get this, but here's some background information...basically she's a politicians wife, and she constantly goes on about gays and how imoral it is, and constantly quotes from the bible...HYPOCRITE...she was cheating on her husband with some 19 year old, and then he used the worst excuse to end their fling...he had genital cancer...haha what a fool. So she lost her job, and hopefully when she dies, she will burn in hell with all the gays and...women haha (I don't mean that literally, but if she's using the bible, she has to learn haha)

4. Fuck Political Corectness, Black Coffee Is Black - Political corectness annoys me, Black is a colour, yes it used for hate against "black people", but ask a black guy and call him black, he's really not gonna matter. Stop changing things in order to suit your own racism! Politics is bad answers for easy questions.

5. When Children Die They Go To Limbo, And So Do Peadophiles - You can't just say a heavnely plane exists, then dismantle it. So if the Catholic church can do it, I can make my own additions, its offensive yes, but so is most of the bible and teachings of the churches. 6. I Call The Samartians Just To Hear A Friendly Voice - I like the sound of my laugh at the end.

7. Do Big Issue Vendors Actually Read The Magazine? - This is an urban local myth, that Big Issues vendors actually have money, but what people don't know is that it's their job to sell that magazine, and also this song is rhetorical haha 8. When Optimus Prime Died, I Didn't Give A Shit - I don't like Transformers and never had. This song is a bit different, the keyboard improve went on a bit too long, but hey, it made the e.p longer haha 9. If You Put A Picture Of Haiti On Your Computer & Press F11, It Looks Like Its Shaking - A friend of mine told me to do this...and it works haha 10. When Brittany Murphy Died, I Had To Google Her - I didn't google her, but she did have to be explained to me, although a friend told me he did haha

11. The Pope Hates Gays & Asians, So Gok Wan Is Fucked - That bigot needs some theology lessons, and Gok Wan is both gay and asian, perfect target haha

CONCLUSION: Please listen...and maube review it yourself haha