METALLICA — Lulu (with Lou Reed) (review)

METALLICA — Lulu (with Lou Reed) album cover

Album · 2011 · Heavy Metal

0.5/5 · 2011-10-20
adg211288

Lulu is a collaborative double disc studio album by American rock musician Lou Reed (of The Velvet Underground fame) and thrash/heavy metal band Metallica. The music on the album, although principally written by Reed, is more in the heavy metal vein than anything. Although Metallica’s James Hetfield provides vocals on the album he is pretty much a secondary vocalist to Reed, so sometimes it seems that despite the style Lulu is much more of a Lou Reed release than it is a Metallica release, and he just hired Metallica as his backing band. Since this is a metal site this review will be aimed towards Metallica’s fans, although to be honest the album may hold more appeal to Reed’s fanbase all things considered.

Right from the first track, Brandenburg Gate, it’s easily to tell that Lulu isn’t going to be your typical album. Actually scratch that, you know that before you’ve even heard it because of the two distinct musical worlds that are teaming up for the album. On paper Lou Reed and Metallica don’t go together, so really before you’ve even heard this you know that the album is either going to be amazing, or it’s going to make you go running back to St. Anger and beg for forgiveness. So which is it?

Sadly it is most probably the latter. Perhaps in his own field Lou Reed’s vocals work but over Metallica’s heavy metal he just sounds totally out of place. I’d go as far to say that Lulu sounds like heavy metal karaoke when someone’s embarrassing Dad has got up to sing. As harsh as the statement sounds, take a listen to a track like Mistress Dread and you’ll hear exactly what I mean. James Hetfield’s vocals are better but less common than Reed’s. It’s kind of sad to note though that Hetfield actually sounds better in what vocal parts he has here than on Death Magnetic, although admittedly not by much.

Lyrically Lulu is often ridiculous. Single release The View showcases this pretty well, with Hetfield delivering a line that will perhaps ultimately be the most memorable thing on the album, “I am the table!”. I guess it all fits in with the ‘artistic’ nature of the release, but it ultimately makes the album an even more difficult listen. Lulu is most certainly a weird one, and not in any sort of avant-garde sense, since the music actually seems pretty standard, that’s probably because Lulu seems structured so you focus on the lyrics and thus the album’s concept. Bearing in mind that it is a two disc album, with a total running time of around eighty-seven minutes, none of this makes Lulu an exactly exciting listen.

Maybe it is just too much for us mere mortals to really comprehend, but Lulu is one of the most boring albums I have ever come across. By the time the first disc is over (six of the ten tracks, but actually the shorter disc due to the near twenty minute track Junior Dad on disc two) I’m bored out of my tree. Most of the tracks drag on and on with what may just as well have been senseless droning. It doesn’t matter if they are long or short, every track on Lulu suffers from the same problem that they inspire boredom to set in quickly since the music is very repetitive and Reed’s vocals are totally characterless. Very rarely is there even a memorable riff that us metalheads can really sink our teeth into and after the track Iced Honey is over all we’re left with is lengthy tracks of at least eight minutes all the way to the album’s end. Although it seems designed to focus on the concept because it is so boring I actually find this an incredibly difficult thing to do because my attention wanders far too easily so I really have no idea what the hell is going on, although again in line with how repetitive it is I’d like a pound for every time Reed repeats the same lyrics during these lengthy tracks, but even if some cutting down had been done, I think this would still be boring. The album most certainly does not make the most of being a double disc; the ratio of good parts in the music to the drivel is very poor. One disc would have been enough. Two is almost unbearable.

Although I never felt the need to turn Lulu off in disgust I was coming to just wish it would end long before its eventual completion. The album goes beyond being just bad really. It’s dismal, way too drawn out and boring. Lulu is quite easily the worst thing Metallica has put to their name, and yes that includes the infamous St. Anger. Metallica fans, it’s my humble opinion that you can safely avoid Lulu. I’m not so sure about Lou Reed’s fans. I’m not at all familiar with his own work in order to comment on how Reed’s fans may find Lulu, but even taking a moment to consider Lulu as a part of the wider musical landscape it’s still extremely boring. There’s not really anything else that can be said about it, except this one last thing.

I AM THE TABLE!

(Originally written for Heavy Metal Haven, scored at 1.0/10, "Utterly Dismal")

more than 2 years ago
Permalink
Report #254738

Share this review

Review Comments

Post a public comment below | Send private message to the reviewer

Please login to post a shout

The Angry Scotsman wrote:

more than 2 years ago

WOW! This is even worse rated than St Anger! Damn now I need to listen to it

Stephen wrote:

more than 2 years ago

hahaha yeah hitler thing is always funny :D

Wilytank wrote:

more than 2 years ago

It would have been just as funny if after everyone left the room Hitler proceed to spurt out "I AM THE TABLE" (sampled from the song) ad nauseam.

UMUR wrote:

more than 2 years ago

Hitler has responded in this thread: http://www.metalmusicarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1995&SID=d84d83ce-551f-df1c5ba4-49956baz-bb8ee2a4 (LOL)

Stephen wrote:

more than 2 years ago

okay let's wait how Hitler responds to this Lulu thing lol

Wilytank wrote:

more than 2 years ago

I've been there, Xaxaar. But thank god James finally came out of the closet and admitted that he is in fact THE table. Now we know why he seems so flat-headed.

Xaxaar wrote:

more than 2 years ago

I can't say I'm surprised...nice review, though. Went into a lot of depth with it for such a negative review. Those are usually the ones that just want to type a paragraph and get it over with.

UMUR wrote:

more than 2 years ago

With such a long album, I think I´ll pass :-)

Diogenes wrote:

more than 2 years ago

Morbid Angel now owes Metallica indefinitely!

adg211288 wrote:

more than 2 years ago

It's actually streaming for free if you want to put yourself through it.

UMUR wrote:

more than 2 years ago

Nice critical review. I´ll probably listen to a couple of samples along the way and if I come across the album on the library I´ll loan it to form an opinion, but I´ll be damned if I´ll spend money on this one. But who knows, I might end up liking this one, like I enjoy other albums that other people seem to think of as atrocities :-)