METALLICA — Lulu (with Lou Reed) (review)

METALLICA — Lulu (with Lou Reed) album cover

Album · 2011 · Heavy Metal

3/5 · 2012-01-26
Doomster

I once had an interesting discussion with a Metallica elitist.

Elitist: Did you hear the new Metallica album with Lou Reed?

Me: Yeah, what about it?

Elitist: What about it? Are you kidding? It's terrible! It's the worst album of the decade for sure!

Me: Care to elaborate?

Elitist: They sold out!

Me: How did they sell out?

Elitist: Because they went for a cash grab with this new album, LuLu!

Me: Dwell on the aspects you dislike about it?

Elitist: Metallica cut their hair and stopped drinking beer, and then got together with an old guy who makes noise music! It's just a bunch of ambience and stuff! There's no RIFFS, man! It's just Metallica playing some shitty powerchords that sound like Black Sabbath over my grandpa lecturing me! HELL NO! BLACK SABBATH SUCKS! METALLICA ARE THE GOODEST METAL BAND IN THE WORLD!

Me: Metallica were experimenting. They weren't expecting anyone to like it. And you insulting Black Sabbath without acknowledging their importance? Wow, dude. Cutting their hair and reverting to sobreity does not make their music bad. Plenty of bands who look standard and don't do drugs can make amazing music. And there is plenty of riffs on this album. Did you even listen to it yet?

Elitist: No shit, dumbass! Everything about this album sucks! It has no redeeming qualities! The riffs are good, but go nowhere!

Me: You just said there are no riffs, then said that it has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, then complemented the riffs. Time paradox, much...?

Elitist: Screw you man! What I mean is, there are no REAL riffs! I want heavy thrash riffs! I want Ride The Lightning and Kill 'Em All reycled over and over and over! I don't want them experimenting! They should make it a goal to please their fans!

Me: So you want Master Of Puppets Part II? You want absolutely nothing differentiating from the previous efforts whatsoever?

Elitist: Exactly!

Me: You're an idiot, then.

Elitist: The vocals also suck! I wanna hear James sing, and he almost never does! Lou Reed is just boring!

Me: I'm actually quite fond of his monotonous drawl. He adds atmosphere, uniqueness, and experimentation to this album. Something you obviously can't tolerate.

Elitist: Are you actually implying that you like this album?!

Me: Well, yes. It's not perfect, but it is good. Why is it good? Because I can appreciate musical evolution.

Elitist: Fuck you. *Walks off*

Me: When will people learn to appreciate a band going in a different direction? *Sigh*

more than 2 years ago
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voila_la_scorie wrote:

more than 2 years ago

When your an band as old as Metallica, you can do an album like this and get away with it. Some will dig it. Others despise it. No matter. They can always do another "Metallica" album. Their discography still has all those other Metallica albums. I've not heard this and I don't intend to. But good for them for trying something different.

Bosh66 wrote:

more than 2 years ago

Yeh, I'm with Doomster and thought I was a one man fan of this album. It's certainly no Ride The Lightning. Then again I listen to Ride the Lightning when that's what I want to hear. Pretty fond of this album, if I'm honest.

Vim Fuego wrote:

more than 2 years ago

I'm in a definite minority in that I like this album. That's the reason I found the review- I was listening to it and wondered what sort of abuse it copped here!

Unitron wrote:

more than 2 years ago

I really like this review too. While I'm on the dislike side of things, my main issue is that I don't think Lou Reed's vocals fit well at all with Metallica's music. I do applaud them trying something new though.

siLLy puPPy wrote:

more than 2 years ago

LOL! Interesting but i'm with elitist as far as liking this album. I totally embrace experimenting but such things don't always result in success

UMUR wrote:

more than 2 years ago

Yeah it definitely is a great review :-). And while it doesn´t focus on describing the music like most reviews do, you still get a fairly good impression of what the album sounds like.

Vim Fuego wrote:

more than 2 years ago

Love this review!

Sheavy wrote:

more than 2 years ago

I loled.

Warthur wrote:

more than 2 years ago

Huh, that reminds me, I haven't posted my review of this here either.

Time Signature wrote:

more than 2 years ago

Elitists are always stupid... well except that band Elitist. They're pretty good.

Andyman1125 wrote:

more than 2 years ago

I agree that the Elitist has some really stupid ideas... but personally I despise this album, for different reasons. At least partly.
Which reminds me, I never managed to post my review of this album here.

Time Signature wrote:

more than 2 years ago

Review.
Of.
The.
Year.