BLOODHOUND GANG — One Fierce Beercoaster (review)

BLOODHOUND GANG — One Fierce Beercoaster album cover

Album · 1996 · Metal Related

5/5 · 2017-09-12
Vim Fuego

Dick jokes, toilet humour, cheap swearing, tacky pop culture references, and so-uncool-they're-cool '80s New Romantic songs. Hmm. Must be Bloodhound Gang.

To say `One Fierce Beer Coaster' redefined dumbfuck, lowest common denominator rap metal is stealing a bit of Limp Bizkit's thunder, but take a look at the similarities. Both bands were/are loved and hated in equal quantities, both were quite keen on borrowing other people's material, and both have white boy wannabe Rappers for front men. But that's where the similarities end. For a start, Fred Durst takes himself far too seriously. Jimmy Pop Ali has a big squishy nose and knows it. Fred Durst couldn't write a rhyme to save himself. Jimmy Pop Ali's lyrics rhyme some of the least expected, dumbest words ever.

From go to whoa, “One Fierce Beer Coaster” is pretty much a series of jokes tacked together and called an album. Much of the humour is self-effacing, the Bloodhounds thinking of themselves as low down Gen-X slacker types, and they're probably right. However, Jimmy Pop and his crew have plenty to say about their safe and boring suburban society, the same way OG Rappers of the past commented on the ghettoes and slums of their youth. Basically, the suburbs are shallow breeding grounds for the mediocre and the superficial. Um, but most of this is just good, dumb fun.

First track "Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny" is an ode to the hazards of eating pussy. It has a big, simple guitar riff, a bit of scratching, a few samples, and Jimmy Pop singing like an idiot. And that's pretty much the formula for the rest of the album.

"Lift Your Head Up High (And Blow Your Brains Out)" touches on teen suicide, basically saying if you're thinking about it because of your crappy life, go ahead and do it, because you fuckin’ suck. "I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks" pre-empted the TV show "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" by a good few years, but basically reinforces the point that what women want in a man is a man who doesn't really want women. "Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me?" is self-explanatory, while "Going Nowhere Slow" is a big list of cities The Bloodhound Gang have played in, with New Jersey somehow upsetting the band, so it ain't ever going to be on their itinerary.

Even if they can't write a decent song of their own, Bloodhound Gang can spot a good tune. Stealing the memorable melody line from Duran Duran's "Hungry Like The Wolf" for "Your Only Friends Are Make Believe" was probably the brightest thing these guys did on this whole album. It's a slow paced, guitar driven song, breathing new life into the old '80s standard.

Even with their love of homoerotic New Romantic pop, some things were still too uncool, even for the Bloodhounds. Rob Van Winkel guest starred on "Boom". "So what?", you might say. Another wannabe nobody white boy rapper, right? Well, yeah, except this one used to go by the name Vanilla Ice, but don't tell anyone, OK? "Boom" is the slickest song on the whole album, the pair trading insults in a good old fashioned face off.

"Fire Water Burn" stands head and shoulders above the rest of the album. Sure, the formula is similar to the other songs, but the tune is the most memorable here, the lyrics the easiest to follow, and the double entendres are the funniest. Try not singing "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire/We don’t need no water, let the motherfucker burn/Burn, motherfucker, burn!" after hearing it. It's a rap song for those who hate rap, and a rock song for the non-rocker. This is the song on which Bloodhound Gang have built their career, and good on them for doing so.

If your idea of a good laugh is the day's political cartoon in the paper, don't even bother with “One Fierce Beer Coaster”. If a good time for you involves women with big boobs, inserting foreign objects where they don't belong, beer, and making fun of those less fortunate than yourself, you've found the perfect album.