VARIOUS ARTISTS (GENERAL) — The Classic Hard Rock Christmas Album (review)

VARIOUS ARTISTS (GENERAL) — The Classic Hard Rock Christmas Album album cover

Album · 2014 · Hard Rock

3.5/5 · 2015-12-23
Vim Fuego

While the title of this album says it’s a “Christmas hard rock album”, the real operative word is “classic”. It really doesn’t rock that hard for the most part, but the tunes, and the musicians are all classics. No one on it needs much of an introduction. If you don’t know who these guys are, this is the wrong album for you.

Jeff Beck’s “Amazing Grace” sets the tone for the entire album. Beck is backed by angelic choirs, and his guitar work is heavenly. The clarion clear tones speak of a lifetime devoted to mastering his instrument, and you almost don’t notice the fact there are no vocals. Aleksandar Živojinović er… Alex Lifeson, from Rush, continues in the same vein. His rendition of “Little Drummer Boy” is very gentle and very peaceful.

“Silent Night/Holy Night Jam” is Joe Satriani take on what can be an incredibly dreary, dull hymn. Satch sticks to the original hymnal tune, but then peels off into guitar solo ecstasy. There is a simple funky backing track, which Satriani climbs all over for seven stunning minutes. As ever, he carries a tune without falling for the worst excesses of guitar heroes, and finally ties it all together with a reprise of the somnolent tune again.

Then Steve Vai jingles it up somewhat with an easy listening lounge music take on “Christmas Time Is Here”. He keeps just enough shred in the song to stop the listener nodding off. “The Christmas Song” by Steve Lukather wouldn’t sound out of place accompanying Dean Martin or Sammy Davis Jr. Even the rocked up middle sections sound like something from a hot 1950s jazz club.

“O Come, O Come Emmanuel” is a bit drab in original form. Instead of revving it up by upping the tempo or hammering it into submission, Neal Schon ornaments the five century old tune with some understated guitar tricks, keeping it reasonably subtle so as to not overwhelm the tune.

Stu Hamm keeps it light with a light jazz interpretation of “Sleigh Ride”. The bass maestro makes the song his own, as if it was originally written for the bass guitar. It is a happy, bouncy song. Trevor Rabin (Yes) starts “O Come All Ye Faithful” acoustic, and builds to a rousing full electric lead, soaked in reverb and guitar effects.

Like he’s spent his whole life doing, Ted Nugent gives the album a kick in the ass. His speedy version of “Deck The Halls” has an almost punk backbeat, over which he lets his manic blues/metal soloing dance. And then Robin Trower sends the album back to easy listening land with a gentle rendition of “Little Town of Bethlehem”.

Finally, Halford thrash out “We Three Kings”. It sees Rob Halford in fine voice over a grunty double kick drum, full metal backing track. This is full blooded metal, complete with several solos, added riffs, and of course, one of metal’s most famous voices. In fact, it is the only track on the album with vocals.

It is good to hear some of rock and metal's greatest players interpreting songs which have been overdone and making them their own. However, this really isn’t an album for cranking up when you’re standing round the barbecue with a beer on Christmas night (I’m talking southern hemisphere Christmas here!). It’s inoffensive enough to play quietly in the background without making your granny spill her Christmas sherry, except perhaps for the Halford track. It is a very easy listening album which rock fans should find bearable, and won’t scare anyone else.

This isn’t for the uncompromising headbanger.