AYREON — Universal Migrator, Part 1: The Dream Sequencer (review)

AYREON — Universal Migrator, Part 1: The Dream Sequencer album cover

Album · 2000 · Metal Related

1/5 · 2011-01-15
Andyman1125

A pointless and boring length of useless music. (Warning: cynicism ahead)

This album is one of the very few albums that I legitimately hate. I cannot stand this album. 70 minutes of ambient music that is supposed to be passed as metal really annoys me. Sure, the concept is alright, and there is one track that I can stand (Neal Morse and his genius), but the weight of other useless music outweighs any good points to the album. There are very few albums I would give 1 star. This is most certainly one of them.

The Dream Sequence is for the most part an intro track with a somewhat nice guitar solo at the end. The beginning is a short narrative, adding nothing to album, and backed by awkward futuristic sounds. The ambient at the end is somewhat nice, but not really cutting it. This is one of the few high points of the album, and it isn't even very high.

My House on Mars is the beginning of my intense hate for this album. This track is just so... boring. It does *not* need to be 7 minutes long. The vocals are spacey and uninterested. The rhythm is boring and overly repetitive. The music is atrocious; it consists of futuristic synth sounds repeated. That is all. I really have nothing else to say about this track, other than that it is just painful to listen to the entire way through.

2084 is no different than the previous track. Spacey ambient synth music, uninterested vocal melodies (what am I talking about... there's no melody!), and just an overall boring 7 minute song. This would be acceptable if it was 75% shorter and was at a faster tempo, and then it would be just barely acceptable. Not a good start, my Lucassen, not a good start.

One Small Step in the right direction, in my opinion, but *very* small. This is basically the same as the previous two tracks, except the synth piece is different and.... it's a minute longer! Oh joy! So far, this music is just unacceptable. The music does speed up somewhat in this song, with some more guitar work and somewhat more interested vocal work. Melody and tangible drumming can actually be heard, but it is still steadily boring. But, this is the best song on the album so far, which is quite sad.

The Shooting Company of Francis B. Cocq is even more boring than My House on Mars. I neatly fall asleep while listening to this song. As expected, this track is a 7 minute long spacey ambient song with some guitar work and uninterested vocal work. Yet another musical fail.

Dragon on the Sea is slightly better than all the other tracks so far. Finally, more instruments than just synth! Vocal melodies are actually listenable and enjoyable. Yet another step in the right direction, thank god. So far, this has been the best track on the album, but is still weak and can be boring and repetitive at times.

Temple of the Cat is listenable, but still overly repetitive and boring. The melodies on the album do begin to pick up slightly at this track, with some compassionate melodic work by Ms Govaert. But, why is it the Temple of the Cat? Couldn't a better Temple name have been chosen? Even just saying it is awkward.

Carried by the Wind is a more enjoyable song, but the prevalent synths are getting extremely old. The instrumental chorus is preformed by guitar mainly, but the verses are synth. Continuity in albums is great, but when every track begins to sound the same, it gets very old and boring. The song is better, but not by much.

And The Druids Turn to Stone is a good and a bad track. Even though little synth is used, the song has a very prevalent pop sound. The track can be listened to without wincing, which is good, but I feel like I should hear a shorter version of this on the Top 40; essentially, the song lacks any of the pretentious attempt at prog the previous songs did have a glimmer of. So, it breaks some of the monotonous continuity, but is much too poppy for my taste.

The First Man on Earth is one of the only legitimately good songs on the entire album. Neal Morse, god bless that man. Everything he touches turns to gold. This is legitimately prog rock! It's not spacey ambient monotony nor is it poppy ambient ridiculousness! This is truly the only good spot on the entire album. If there ever was a reason to listen to this album, this would be it.

The Dream Sequencer Reprise can be overlooked as a continuation of the overlookable first track. Simple ambient work with a spacey guitar solo that is the same feel as the first track. Ends the album on a slower and boring note.

ALBUM OVERALL: What a disaster. Sure, about 3 tracks are listenable. Other than that, the remaining 8 tracks are pointless and boring. Spacey ambient synths are the motif of this album, and trust me, you do not want that as the recurring theme in your music. If you have insomnia, I recommend this album as an alternative to sleeping pills. Although the tone of my review may seem a little immature, words can barely describe how much I truly detest this album. 1 star.